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" What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise. "
Jerome K. Jerome
Funny
Disguise
Blessing
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" Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love. "
Nick Cannon
Funny
Love
Day
" I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. "
Mitt Romney
Funny
Jokes
Love
" I get a stack of scripts, like, once a month, and most of the time, you find these placeholder girls that are there to provide a bounce for the male character. So we know he's funny because she's serious and she's mad at him. We know he's strong because she needs saving. So really, her job is to validate this personality trait of our hero or male. "
Amber Heard
Time
Character
Funny
" I love airports because funny things always happen at them. They're giant complexes full of urgency, seriousness, and confusion. Where am I supposed to be? Which way do I go? And that's just the staff. "
Rhys Darby
Always
Way
Love
" Life is hard. After all, it kills you. "
Katharine Hepburn
You
Life Is Hard
Funny
" I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me. "
Marilyn Manson
Funny
Because
Me
" Personally, I feel like I'm trying to redefine what a really good rapper can be like. Like, I think it's not often where a good rapper can be making funny music. "
Lil Dicky
Feel
Funny
Good
" I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. "
Rodney Dangerfield
Wife
Years
Interrupt
" I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. "
Rachel McAdams
Funny
Art
Quality
" It's funny, the moment you dread the most, seeing yourself bald, is actually not such a bad moment at all. "
Sylvie Meis
Moment
You
Yourself
" Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. "
John Krasinski
Funny
Down
Time
" I think the eyes flirt most. There are so many ways to use them. "
Anna Held
Flirt
Eyes
Funny
" A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Funny
You
Having
" As I get older, I just prefer to knit. "
Tracey Ullman
Older
Funny
Get
" It's funny: I was a photographer before I was a programmer. "
Kevin Systrom
Photographer
Funny
Before
" I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican. "
Marion Barry
Funny
Republican
Slavery
" I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it. "
Audrey Hepburn
Like
Dance
Face
" Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. "
Bill Hicks
Funny
Job
Know
" I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them? "
Leo Durocher
Funny
Believe
You
" For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think I'm decently funny.' But unless you just have some massive ego, I really think you're still fighting against that. "
Will Ferrell
Funny
People
Think
" Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. "
James Thurber
Right
Funny
Too
" When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries. "
Amy Childs
Reality
Day
Long
" In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me. "
Rosie Perez
Step
Me
Funny
" I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. "
Paula Poundstone
Mother
Bank
Funny
" I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. "
Les Dawson
Funny
Own
Trouble
" Cure for an obsession: get another one. "
Mason Cooley
Obsession
Another
Cure
" People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. "
Isaac Asimov
Great
Us
Think
" There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. "
Lewis Black
Milk
Soy
Thing
" When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' "
Steven Wright
Say
Attention
Day
" If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong. "
Marlon Wayans
Monkey
Lion
Strong