Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. "
Groucho Marx
Buying
Hay
Horse
Related Quotes:
" Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know. "
Groucho Marx
Know
You
Art
" A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. "
Groucho Marx
Animal
Black
Cat
" Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. "
Groucho Marx
Best Friend
Book
Dog
" Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. "
Groucho Marx
Write
Book
Half
" I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it. "
Groucho Marx
Year
Got
Four
" All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. "
Groucho Marx
Politics
Democrats
Alike
" In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. "
Groucho Marx
Keep
Hollywood
Away
" I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. "
Groucho Marx
Library
Television
Say
" Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. "
Groucho Marx
Like
Others
Principles
" I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. "
Groucho Marx
Club
Me
People
" Humor is reason gone mad. "
Groucho Marx
Humor
Reason
Mad
" I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. "
Groucho Marx
Up
Nothing
Extreme
" I intend to live forever, or die trying. "
Groucho Marx
Death
Trying
Forever
" I must confess, I was born at a very early age. "
Groucho Marx
Born
Very
I Was Born
" She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. "
Groucho Marx
Her
Looks
She
" One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. "
Groucho Marx
Never
Morning
Elephant
" A man's only as old as the woman he feels. "
Groucho Marx
Old
Woman
Only
" Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. "
Groucho Marx
I See
Time
You
" A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. "
Groucho Marx
Bed
Medical
Taxi
" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? "
Groucho Marx
Live
Who
Wants
" Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. "
Groucho Marx
Me
Resignation
Will
" No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early. "
Groucho Marx
Time
Before
Boss
" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "
Groucho Marx
Evening
Wonderful
Had
" Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? "
Groucho Marx
Should
Done
Care
" I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "
Groucho Marx
Today
Power
Me
" Before I speak, I have something important to say. "
Groucho Marx
Say
Important
Something
" Women should be obscene and not heard. "
Groucho Marx
Obscene
Heard
Women
" Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. "
Groucho Marx
Poor
Whoever
Named
" I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. "
Groucho Marx
Mind
Club
You
" The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths. "
Groucho Marx
Myself
Life
Mind