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" In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. "
Groucho Marx
Keep
Hollywood
Away
Related Quotes:
" I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. "
Groucho Marx
Club
Me
People
" Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know. "
Groucho Marx
Know
You
Art
" There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook. "
Groucho Marx
You
Way
Find
" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "
Groucho Marx
Someone
Send
Funny
" Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. "
Groucho Marx
Justice
Military
Music
" If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. "
Groucho Marx
You
Closer
Held
" I intend to live forever, or die trying. "
Groucho Marx
Death
Trying
Forever
" My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. "
Groucho Marx
Children
Anything
She
" Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. "
Groucho Marx
Man
Own
Women
" A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. "
Groucho Marx
Woman
Smoke
Always
" Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. "
Groucho Marx
Looking
Finding
Art
" Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? "
Groucho Marx
Should
Done
Care
" I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. "
Groucho Marx
Doctor
Feeling
Golf
" All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. "
Groucho Marx
Politics
Democrats
Alike
" I must confess, I was born at a very early age. "
Groucho Marx
Born
Very
I Was Born
" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? "
Groucho Marx
Live
Who
Wants
" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "
Groucho Marx
Evening
Wonderful
Had
" If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. "
Groucho Marx
Like
Me
Stop
" Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. "
Groucho Marx
Me
Resignation
Will
" I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. "
Groucho Marx
Mind
Club
You
" Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. "
Groucho Marx
Enough
Dance
Wives
" Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. "
Groucho Marx
Write
Book
Half
" I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. "
Groucho Marx
Sex
First
First Time
" I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. "
Groucho Marx
Leaving
Weather
Raining
" Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. "
Groucho Marx
Intelligence
Military
Contradiction
" Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. "
Groucho Marx
Like
Others
Principles
" Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? "
Groucho Marx
Own
Eyes
Me
" Humor is reason gone mad. "
Groucho Marx
Humor
Reason
Mad
" My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. "
Groucho Marx
Thirty
Days
You
" Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. "
Groucho Marx
Either
Dead
He