Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. "

Related Quotes:

" I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. "

" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "

" It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. "

" I intend to live forever, or die trying. "

" From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. "

" Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. "

" The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths. "

" I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. "

" Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. "

" Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. "

" Humor is reason gone mad. "

" I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. "

" Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? "

" One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. "

" Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it. "

" Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. "

" I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. "

" I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it. "

" I must confess, I was born at a very early age. "

" Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. "

" Room service? Send up a larger room. "

" Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? "

" I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. "

" Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. "

" The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. "

" Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. "

" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "

" All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. "

" In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. "

" I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. "