Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" As I get older, I just prefer to knit. "

Related Quotes:

" It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. "

" I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. "

Robert Benchley

" I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. "

" If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. "

" Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. "

" The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! "

" I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny. "

" I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. "

" I became an American in 2006. It got me thinking about what is my America and what's my perception of America. "

" She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years. "

J. B. Priestley

" Let's make some funny pictures. "

" No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. "

Abraham Lincoln

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. "

" He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. "

" What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize. "

" What's another word for Thesaurus? "

" Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself. "

Cathy Guisewite

" It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art. "

" The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.' "

Richard Branson

" A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. "

" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "

" I'm thankful enough or blessed enough to be able to say that Miles Davis was a friend when he was alive, and he was a wonderful mentor and really, really funny, you know. "

" A funny thing about near-future stories: the future catches up to them. If the author is unlucky, the future catches up faster than the book can get out the door. "

Edward M. Lerner

" My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. "

" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "

" How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing. "

" Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish. "

" I'm not funny. What I am is brave. "

" It makes you more open, it gives you perspective, having a child. "