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" When I'm funny is when I'm angriest. "

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" It's really funny because the same people who loved me as Stringer Bell were the same people that were watching 'Daddy's Little Girls' literally in tears. "

" Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty. "

" The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered. "

" I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. "

" To handle that stardom, the red carpets, the photo shoots, people all of a sudden recognizing you and following you in everyday life, it's a bit weird. It's strange, and it can have funny effects on you in terms of do you like it or don't you like it. Some people run away from it, some people embrace it; I found a good middle ground. "

" Life is hard. After all, it kills you. "

Katharine Hepburn

" Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, 'Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, 'David Wolper, the man who produced 'Roots.' I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It's going to be 'David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.' "

David L. Wolper

" I run around my house naked with heels all the time. It's so funny. "

Mary-Kate Olsen

" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "

" The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know? "

" Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "

" Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. "

" The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes. "

William Feather

" I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. "

" I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. "

" A rich man's joke is always funny. "

Thomas Edward Brown

" Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh. "

" Funny thing is that the poorer people are, the more generous they seem to be. "

" 'Hustle' is wonderfully enjoyable because all my life, I've made an effort to be with people who can make me laugh. That original cast - Marc Warren, Jaime Murray, Robert Glenister and Adrian Lester - are all funny. So I know every day I'll have a few good laughs. "

" Reality continues to ruin my life. "

" I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. "

" Men are only as loyal as their options. "

" Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!' "

" I'm a happy person but an angry citizen. "

" The superfluous, a very necessary thing. "

" The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We've all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we've all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that's a gift - to you and your audience. "

" It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. "

" One picture is worth 1,000 denials. "

Picture Is Worth

" One man's folly is another man's wife. "

" I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet. "