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" I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it OK to cry. "

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" I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking. "

David Sedaris

Writing

Thinking

Myself

" I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone. "

" What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. "

" I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended. "

" I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. "

" When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. "

" I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated. "

" I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. "

" Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth. "

" But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. "

" I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter. "

David Sedaris

Reporter

New

" I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. "

" I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books. "

" Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise. "

" Because I've always been a fairly nervous person. "

" If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a new mental adventure since high school. So that's what I like about books on tape, so my mind can't wander anywhere. "

" I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. "

" I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. "

David Sedaris

Iron

Listening

" Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it. "

" I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story. "

" There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about. "

David Sedaris

Lots

Things

" I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why. "

David Sedaris

Gone

Someone

" To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news. "

" I've been keeping diaries for 27 years. "

" I sometimes read books on my iPad. "

" I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. "

David Sedaris

Movies

Everything

" But most good movies have a gun in them. "

" I think it's important to take chances. "

" Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie. "