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" Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. "
Fred Allen
Committee
Done
Group
Related Quotes:
" I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. "
Fred Allen
Why
Understand
Person
" The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference. "
Fred Allen
Exposed
Advertising
Conference
" I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is. "
Fred Allen
Remember
Three
Trouble
" I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. "
Fred Allen
Play
Own
My Own
" I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. "
Fred Allen
Full
Front
Bottle
" Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. "
Fred Allen
Technology
Television
Well Done
" An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. "
Fred Allen
Actor
Success
Small
" Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. "
Fred Allen
Great
Bad
Competition
" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "
Fred Allen
People
Like
Long
" A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. "
Fred Allen
Man
Who
Woman
" The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. "
Fred Allen
Religion
People
Funny
" Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. "
Fred Allen
Never
Year
Creation
" We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. "
Fred Allen
Age
History
Living
" All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. "
Fred Allen
Humor
Anything
About
" The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi. "
Fred Allen
Strikes
First
Paris
" The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed. "
Fred Allen
Advertising
Before
Space
" A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. "
Fred Allen
People
Decide
Done
" Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. "
Fred Allen
Wild
Church
Failure
" Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners. "
Fred Allen
Like
Treat
Partners
" A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. "
Fred Allen
Group
Appointed
Committee
" Television is the triumph of machine over people. "
Fred Allen
People
Television
Triumph
" Imitation is the sincerest form of television. "
Fred Allen
Form
Sincerest
Imitation
" Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. "
Fred Allen
Television
Watch
Who
" California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. "
Fred Allen
Live
Funny
Place
" Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. "
Fred Allen
Stars
Church
God
" I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin. "
Fred Allen
Want
Own
Coffin
" It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. "
Fred Allen
World
Achievement
Go
" A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. "
Fred Allen
Glasses
Person
Famous
" If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race. "
Fred Allen
Membership
Race
Back
" The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. "
Fred Allen
Down
Funny
Him