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" I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting. "

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" People ask if I miss it, but they don't understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that there's nothing to miss. I don't see myself moving back. It's not that I hate the United States. I just always thought it would be a shame not to live in a foreign country. "

" There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about. "

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" But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. "

" As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners. "

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" I love 'Glee.' "

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" I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you? "

" The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons. "

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" I don't have email. "