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" What's funny is I probably still have some calligraphy business cards floating out in the world, and I can't wait for someone to call me in a month or something, and say, 'Can you do these for my son's Bar Mitzvah?' "

Meghan Markle

Funny

Son

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" It's funny because I've made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say. "

" Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick. "

" I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue. "

" If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable. "

" Everyone who has ever met me for at least five minutes knows I'm a really funny person. I love to laugh and to make people laugh, so writing comedy comes naturally to me. "

Simone Elkeles

Love

People

" Cure for an obsession: get another one. "

" I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. "

" Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love. "

" People naturally want to retweet and engage on super funny videos and memes. "

" Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in. "

" Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. "

Josh Billings

Funny

Cologne

" Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. "

" I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny. "

" To describe something as being black and white means it is clearly defined. Yet when your ethnicity is black and white, the dichotomy is not that clear. In fact, it creates a grey area. "

" Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it. "

" I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. "

" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "

" Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. "

" All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. "

" Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish. "

" Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children. "

" My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. "

" I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. "

" Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. "

" Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they're spiritual and telling stories like 'Whale Rider' and 'Once Were Warriors,' quite serious stuff, but we're pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am. "

" When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' "

" I can really stir up a conversation. Every time I go to a meeting or a casting, I try to make it as light and funny as I can. I'm always making really awkward jokes. You have to make life fun and not take it too seriously. I may look like I'm very serious and into my work, but if you knew me, I'm just a jokester. "

" I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. "

" If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like. "

William Feather

Kind

People

" I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink. "

Karl Lagerfeld