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" I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it's very difficult to be funny. I think what happens is that people get a dummy, they learn the technique of ventriloquism, they memorize the script, they think they're in show business. "

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" I think that I come off as, 'Nothing bothers me, I don't care! I'm funny and sassy.' But I'm deeply sensitive. Not only about myself but to others. Not to pat myself on the back, empathy is a quality I've cultivated over my life. It came naturally to me as a child. "

Laura Benanti

Child

Empathy

Funny

" Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh. "

" An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. "

" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "

" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. "

" It's funny to be in rooms where you were originally referred to as 'The Shakespeare Guy' and to suddenly be in the position where you're 'The Blockbuster Guy.' That's a pretty unusual turnabout, I must say. "

" Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. "

" You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. "

" I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. "

" No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. "

" Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? "

" I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect, and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people. "

" If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. "

" I have found that people who really want to work at 'Saturday Night Live' and pursue it get pretty close. You have to be funny - but everyone who works there, it was their dream to work there. So it's kind of nice in that way - there's a lot of people who say, 'I just always wanted to do this, and now I'm doing it.' "

" It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. "

" Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing. "

" 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun. "

" It's a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children. "

" Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America. "

" There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. "

" As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. "

" I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. "

" Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. "

" A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. "

" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "

Fred Allen

People

Long

" I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. "

" I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss that. "

" I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. "

Eddie Izzard

Funny

Europe

" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "