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" I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. "
George Carlin
Purpose
She
Section
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" When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. "
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" The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. "
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" I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. "
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