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" Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "
H. L. Mencken
Even
Believe
He
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" Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. "
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" There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good. "
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" The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence. "
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" Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. "
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" War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. "
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" Most people want security in this world, not liberty. "
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" Honor is simply the morality of superior men. "
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" The only really happy folk are married women and single men. "
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" The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. "
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" Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. "
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" Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. "
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" Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. "
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" The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. "
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" The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil. "
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" Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience. "
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" A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them. "
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" One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring. "
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" I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine. "
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" Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself. "
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" Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince. "
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" Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. "
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" It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause. "
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" No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. "
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" The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. "
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" Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies. "
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" I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. "
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" Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love. "
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" Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time. "
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" The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught. "
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" Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. "
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