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" Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious. "
H. L. Mencken
Feeling
Self-Respect
Secure
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" One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring. "
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" Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it. "
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" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "
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" The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral. "
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" No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. "
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" Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. "
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" We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine. "
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" No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. "
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" I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant. "
H. L. Mencken
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" Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good. "
H. L. Mencken
Giving
Man
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" Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers. "
H. L. Mencken
Law
Judge
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" War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. "
H. L. Mencken
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" I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. "
H. L. Mencken
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" The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil. "
H. L. Mencken
Devil
Failure
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" Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. "
H. L. Mencken
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" Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly. "
H. L. Mencken
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Very
Machine
" Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. "
H. L. Mencken
Mother-In-Law
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Never
" Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. "
H. L. Mencken
Progress
American
Average
" Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. "
H. L. Mencken
Temptation
Man
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" The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. "
H. L. Mencken
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Distrust
Grow
" It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man. "
H. L. Mencken
Believe
Ape
Man
" On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. "
H. L. Mencken
Reach
White
Heart
" Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago. "
H. L. Mencken
Die
Long
Man
" Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. "
H. L. Mencken
Fear
Be Happy
Someone
" For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. "
H. L. Mencken
Centuries
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" A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier. "
H. L. Mencken
Crazy
Ignorant
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" A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. "
H. L. Mencken
Quite
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" Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time. "
H. L. Mencken
Who
Better
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" Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. "
H. L. Mencken
Will
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" For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. "
H. L. Mencken
Wrong
Simple
Problem