Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" Never give a sucker an even break. "
W. C. Fields
Even
Give
Break
Related Quotes:
" Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. "
W. C. Fields
Cry
Never
Over
" It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. "
W. C. Fields
You
Answer
Call
" I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. "
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia
Sunday
Once
" Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. "
W. C. Fields
Most
Experience
Beautiful
" Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed. "
W. C. Fields
Closed
Philadelphia
Week
" Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against. "
W. C. Fields
Politics
Never
Always
" A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. "
W. C. Fields
Man
Poor
Rich
" All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. "
W. C. Fields
Bearded
Women
Were
" Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again. "
W. C. Fields
Should
Again
Children
" I drink therefore I am. "
W. C. Fields
Drink
I Am
Therefore
" There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. "
W. C. Fields
Take
Man
Face
" Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live. "
W. C. Fields
Heart
Worry
Will
" Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. "
W. C. Fields
House
Like
Little
" I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do. "
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia
Die
Paris
" Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. "
W. C. Fields
She
You
Impress
" The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive. "
W. C. Fields
Out
World
Place
" No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree. "
W. C. Fields
Doubt
Crazy
Women
" I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for. "
W. C. Fields
Blonde
Beautiful
She
" Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one. "
W. C. Fields
Like
Own
Want
" The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. "
W. C. Fields
Another
Up
Living
" The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. "
W. C. Fields
Pancakes
Over
Man
" The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. "
W. C. Fields
Pet
Cat
Rat
" Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. "
W. C. Fields
Actor
Devil
Great
" You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. "
W. C. Fields
Even
You
Water
" I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. "
W. C. Fields
Always
I See
Keep
" Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. "
W. C. Fields
Off
Say
Easy
" I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming. "
W. C. Fields
Will
Afraid
Drink
" Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. "
W. C. Fields
Me
Nothing
Travel
" There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it. "
W. C. Fields
Real
Drink
Ahead
" I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. "
W. C. Fields
Snake
Bottle
I See