Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away. "

Related Quotes:

" Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on. "

Dennis Miller

Kind

Think

Conservative

" President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which. "

" We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being. "

" Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair? "

" I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown. "

Dennis Miller

Cats

Planet

" Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time. "

" I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy. "

" Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways. "

" I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. "

Dennis Miller

Credibility

Comedian

" I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life. "

" The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. "

" Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet. "

" Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. "

" It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity. "

" The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board. "

" Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash? "

" A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. "

" What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy. "

" There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. "

" I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess. "

Dennis Miller

World

" One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech. "

" Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time. "

" Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese. "

Dennis Miller

Cheese

Washington

" Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge. "

" Never have lives less lived been more chronicled. "

" Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention. "

" Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer. "

" Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living. "

" The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt. "

" The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood. "

Dennis Miller

American

Education